Flash in the Ed
by Wespe
Summary: What happens when Double-D comes across a suitcase? Rated T for some mature references.


**SCENE I THE HEATH**

_Enter EDD and EDDY_

**EDD  
><strong>I honestly don't know. I wandered upon this suitcase sitting in the middle of the road. When I tried to open it, it refused to budge. Though, I must confess, it looks very familiar.

**EDDY  
><strong>Did you get a good feel for what was inside?

**EDD  
><strong>Not I, dear sir. Though, from what I could tell it was packed full.

**EDDY  
><strong>Cash! I knew it! That's the only reason anyone would put anything in a suitcase!

**EDD  
><strong>I hardly agree with your assessment; money isn't simply thrown into the open. Even as much as I would hope for that though, I believe it will be something more benign. After all, as I recall, when we found your brother's suitcase it was filled with sponges.

**EDDY  
><strong>Well, we better crack it open before all the other pigeons get to it. Did you hide it away?

**EDD  
><strong>I did no such thing.

**EDDY  
><strong>WHY! Someone might have made away with it!

**EDD  
><strong>Then they can live with their guilt. If someone intentionally put it there, I wouldn't won't to cause them any more misery by dislocating it.

**EDDY  
><strong>Must get my money!

_EDDY runs off stage right_

**EDD  
><strong>Oh how I curse his greed! Why must I be the light of honesty among the barren seas of lies and deceit? What what I wouldn't give to know. Defiling people by our design is one thing, but vandalism? I feel so ashamed to know I am allowing him to do it. I best make sure he doesn't do anything foolish.

_Exits stage right, Enter JIMMY left_

**JIMMY  
><strong>Do my ears deceive me? There is some mischief afoot! Those Eds are ruining the peace again! I wish I had some muscles and I'd give em' a lump or two to learn em'. Never a moment's silence! Though I can do one better! I have the mob with me! [Calling Within] Sarah!

_Exits stage left_

**SCENE II Cul-De-Sac**

_Black suitcase lies in center, enter ED, EDD, AND EDDY_

**ED  
><strong>Oh Look! A whatchamacallit!

**EDDY**  
>A suitcase, lummox.<p>

**ED**  
>Why thank you!<p>

**EDDY**  
>Idiot. [To EDD] Any ideas on how to open it, Double-D?<p>

**EDD**  
>I've thought it over and decided you can count me out of this one.<p>

**EDDY  
><strong>And why's that?

**EDD  
><strong>I've realized whenever we try to do something that goes against my conscience, it usually ends up bad.

**EDDY  
><strong>Then maybe your conscience needs to decide whose friends he would like to be.

**EDD  
><strong>That's low Eddy. Even for you.

**ED  
><strong>Kids!

**EDDY  
><strong>What?

_Enter KEVIN, ROLF, NAZZ, SARAH, JIMMY, and JOHNNY_

**JIMMY  
><strong>See! See! I knew they were up to no good!

**KEVIN  
><strong>Pipe down, shrimpy, while we see what's going on.

**JOHNNY  
><strong>Cool box guys! Did you steal it?

**EDDY**  
>(sarcastically) Wow! I never knew someone who asked so many awkward questions!<p>

**EDD**  
>If you'll allow me to explain. I found this box where it is now. They are trying to figure out how to open it. I'm not apart of this.<p>

**JIMMY**  
>I knew it! They're trying to steal someone else's stuff to pawn it so they can buy Jaw-Breakers!<p>

**EDDY  
><strong>Nu-uh! We were...trying to see if we could find who owns it. Yeah that's it. And...uh...there's no tag! So, uh...we're trying to find some sort of adress or something.

**SARAH  
><strong>Oh give me a break! We all know what you guys want! We want in on it too.

**ALL  
><strong>Yeah!

**NAZZ  
><strong>Like, there might be something in there we could all use.

**KEVIN  
><strong>So hand over the suitcase before I pound ya'!

**EDDY  
><strong>Run, Ed!

**ED  
><strong>We are goners, Eddy!

**EDD  
><strong>Hold on people! Before you go gallivanting around in a mad chase that will destroy half the neighborhood, let me appeal to your logic. If this belonged to any of you, would you want anyone to open it? Like you, Sarah, if it contained you doll, would you want someone throwing it in the dirt? Or you, Kevin, if it were one of your "magazines" would you want someone folding the corners?

**KEVIN  
><strong>What? I don't have own any of those!

**NAZZ  
><strong>Oh my gosh! Kevin! You look at playboys don't you!

**KEVIN  
><strong>No baby! I swear!

**NAZZ  
><strong>I can't believe I even let your touch me! Ew!

**ROLF  
><strong>Who is this boy who does the playing? Is it soccer?

**KEVIN  
><strong>I'm telling ya, I don't know what he's talking about!

**EDDY  
><strong>[Aside] In this confusion I'll slip away with the goods!

_Picks up suitcase and tip toes with ED off stage left as conversation continues_

**JIMMY  
><strong>Kevin, that is so...GROSS!

**ROLF  
><strong>Rolf does not understand your harsh disdain for the remedial hurly-burly of recreational past-times.

**SARAH  
><strong>Shut up Rolf!

**EDD  
><strong>People please! There's no need for this! We can resolve this a better way!

**JOHNNY  
><strong>Hey, uh...guys. I think they've made off with the loot!

**ALL  
><strong>What!

**KEVIN  
><strong>They ditched us! Wait till' I get a hold of em'!

**ROLF  
><strong>Ho-ho! Rolf has no doubt that Kevin will make short work of the Ed-boys. His biceps are that of an ox in the midst of spring.

**JOHNNY  
><strong>Let's kill em' all!

_Mob storms off stage left, except EDD_

**EDD  
><strong>I knew this would happen! I knew he would try to pull a fast one. I promised myself I would look after him closely but I was too caught up in that drama. No matter! Perhaps I can prevent anymore damage than previously prescribed.

**SCENE III THE TREE HOUSE**

_ED fiddles with suitcase as EDDY nervously looks out the window_

**EDDY  
><strong>Hurry up, Ed! The kids will find us any moment!

**EDD  
><strong>Didn't hear a word ya just said Eddy! For I am trying to break the code!

**EDDY  
><strong>Code? What code? There is no code! It's a padlock!

**EDD  
><strong>What?

**EDDY  
><strong>Move aside!

_Violently bangs on the suitcase several times, then throws against the wall._

**EDDY  
><strong>Why won't this thing open! I wish Double D was here!

_Enter EDD right_

That was fast!

**EDD  
><strong>Just what do you think you're doing? There's a lynch mob out there hunting for your heads!

**EDDY  
><strong>Don't care! Must know what's inside!

**EDD  
><strong>Eddy, I beg you, I beseech you! Stop this before we are all beaten to a bloody pulp!

_Voices from within_

**ED  
><strong>Uh-oh, I think we're surrounded.

**KEVIN  
><strong>_Within_ Come down! It'll be easier on ya'!

**ROLF  
><strong>_Within_ The time of suffering has not yet begun!

**EDD  
><strong>Eddy, there's no hope! We can't open the suitcase! Just give it to them!

**EDDY  
><strong>Neva'!

_Suitcase pops open_

**EDD  
><strong>Huh...that's odd.

**EDDY  
><strong>At last! Gold, riches, power!

**ED  
><strong>A lifetime supply of cheese!

_EDDY looks inside suitcase. Gazes for a moment, then begins screaming in horror. Reels back in terror while still screaming._

**EDD  
><strong>What's wrong Ed-_gazes into suitcase and does likewise._

**ED  
><strong>A party? _Looks and joins all three in screaming._

**EDD  
><strong>I knew that suitcase looked familiar!

**EDDY  
><strong>I'm blind!

**ED  
><strong>Icky! Bad! Evil!

_Enter mob right_

**KEVIN  
><strong>Alright dorks, hand it over!

**EDS  
><strong>Run for it! _Run off stage right_

_Each person gazes into the suitcase and all exclaim in terror and quickly exit off stage, shouting vile comments of disgust until all are gone leaving the suitcase on the floor still open. Then, enter KANKERS left._

**LEE  
><strong>There it is! I knew we would find our beach trip photo album!

**MAY  
><strong>How did it wind up here?

**MARIE  
><strong>Who cares! I'm just glad I got it back. I want to remember how sexy I look in a bikini!

**LEE  
><strong>You're such an attention whore Marie.

**MARIE  
><strong>Am not!

_Continue to argue indiscriminately, exit right. End scene._


End file.
